You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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