why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He did a backflip because drugs
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
