Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
