i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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