When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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