Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
