I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
