she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
