She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
