Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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