when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
