I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
