he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
