I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
