I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
