Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
