Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
