I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
