Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize