the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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