do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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