I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
