i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
