Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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