Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
