like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize