there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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