I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
