remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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