just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize