Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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