Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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