Screwed.edu
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
