yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
