All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
