Do vagina's smell?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Who died my cat blue again?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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