hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
