I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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