let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
