i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're a waste of cheezeits
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
