she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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