:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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