Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So much rum. So many feels.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
