just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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