White coat. Heels.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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