we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
