I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
