Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
