saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
