Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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