I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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