it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
this will be a night to untag.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize