Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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