her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
