Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
