I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
