we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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