so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
