WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
