What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize