thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
