Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
