I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
