When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize